Channel 4 - 2.45pm
The multi-tasking Cohens reluctantly sit down for Sandy’s “sneak attack family dinner.” Sorry, no TV, no video and no phones! No exceptions. Except for Ryan, who receives a call from his brother Trey, who’s getting out of prison the following day.
The next morning, Ryan mentally prepares himself for the trip to Chino to pick up his brother. Sandy’s going with him. If it’s a Ryan problem, it’s a Cohen problem.
Zach shows up at school on a sporty new Vespa. Buongiorno! Summer’s worried that she’s going to get bitch-slapped for ditching Zach at the airport, but he’s surprisingly ok. Wait a minute, he’s not just ok, he’s fantastic! In fact, it was the best vacation of his life! But Summer’s not buying it.
At the prison, Sandy and Ryan wait for Trey to come out. Sandy asks Ryan what he thinks about Trey staying with them for a little while. Ryan hesitates. He’s not so keen on the idea.
Julie stops by Kirsten’s office and confesses that back in her wayward youth a boyfriend convinced her to let him film her naked. She was living on Ramen noodles at the time and needed the money. But afterwards she freaked and made him promise he wouldn’t show it to anyone. And he hasn’t. So far. But now, on the eve of the launch of her magazine, he’s threatening to expose her if she doesn’t come up with half a million dollars. Kirsten thinks maybe Julie should tell Caleb so they can bond over their respective past indiscretions.
Sandy and Ryan drop Trey off at a friend’s dilapidated shack in Chino, but it appears there’s nobody home to greet him. Sandy revisits the idea of Trey coming home with them and this time Ryan goes for it. Excited, Trey hops back into the Range Rover.
Seth runs into Zach at the school lockers and attempts to clear the air… but apparently there’s no need. Zach’s fine with Seth and Summer being back together. Seth thinks there’s something different about Zach. Well, actually… Zach makes Seth promise he won’t tell Summer, then proceeds to tell Seth about Francesca, a hot tall blonde girl he met in Italy. They clicked immediately and they’re still clicking… via internet, web cam, etc.
Ryan shows a gawking Trey around the Cohen estate. He tells Ryan he knows he’s got a good thing going here and he promises not to screw it up for him.
Seth runs into Trey in the pool house and discovers that, like his brother, Trey’s a man of few words. Trey, on the other hand, discovers that Seth is a man of many words, especially when he’s nervous. Which he is. Now. Fortunately Sandy and Ryan enter and save the moment. Sandy hands Trey a wad of cash and tells him to buy himself some basics.
Meanwhile, Julie takes Kirsten’s advice and has a chat with Caleb, a sort of state-of-the-union address. First of all, she thinks they should replace the showerhead in the guest bathroom, fire the new gardener, and oh yeah, and she made an adult film with an ex-boyfriend in the eighties and he’s threatening to release it onto the internet unless she pays him a half million dollars. And, she’d really like to redo the kitchen. Caleb thinks she’s gotten herself into quite a bind. But before Julie can completely go off on him, Caleb agrees to pay the money.
At the diner, Summer seems obsessed with Zach’s quick recovery. Seth remarks that Zach’s a resilient guy but Summer presses him for any footnotes he might have to the “I love Italy story.” Seth tries not to break his promise to Zach but buckles in about a minute or less.
Julie drops by Kirsten’s office with the good news that Caleb agreed to pay the half-million. Kirsten’s only half listening and appears to be distracted by something just outside her office. Julie takes a peak through the blinds and sees Carter, the good-looking editor of the magazine. It suddenly dawns on Julie that she’s been so preoccupied with her own sex scandal that she hasn’t noticed Kirsten’s. Kirsten tries to deny it but Julie gives her that “a girl knows when another girl’s in love” smile.
Back at the hip clothing store, the threesome appear to be having a good time, when the floor manager stops Trey and asks to look in his bag. Why? Because he observed Trey handling a watch at the counter. Trey takes offense, first refusing to hand over his bag, then dumping the contents onto the floor and knocking over a wooden display case along the way.
Zach drops by Summer’s place for the surprise post break-up stuff exchange. Summer tells him that she gets it that he’s moved on but does he have to totally erase her from his life?
Meanwhile, Caleb drops by Lance’s motel room with a briefcase containing half a million dollars. Lance hands over the video in exchange for the money, then asks Caleb what it feels like to get a glimpse into Julie’s past. Caleb replies that he didn’t get where he is today by being a fool -- he knew what he was getting into when he married Julie. Then there’s a knock on the door and two thugs enter. Caleb informs Lance that they’re here to get to know him. And by that he means, hand over the briefcase or else... Lance reluctantly hands it over, then Caleb thanks him for the video and heads out.
Back at the The Newport Group, Julie’s in Kirsten’s office debating between two outfits for the big launch party when Carter stops by with a bottle of Kirsten’s favorite wine. He thought they could have a pre-party toast. Kirsten, aware of Julie’s grin, suddenly turns on her best professional persona and acts incredulous at the thought of something so obviously unprofessional. Julie doesn’t buy the act for a minute. A confused Carter heads back to his office. Julie heads out too, but not before singing a few bars of … “Kirsten and Carter sitting in a Tree…”
Summer stops by Zach’s house with a bag of his stuff. Zach’s mom hoped she’d seen the last of Summer, but Summer offers a sincere apology for what happened at the airport. Then she adds that at least something good came out of it, right? If she’d been there, Zach would never have met Francesca. Who? You know, six-foot-two, Italian supermodel? Zach’s mom wants to know exactly when Zach would have met her given that he spent the entire vacation in his hotel room sulking over Summer?
In the pool house, Ryan asks Trey how the job hunt is going. Not so good. Trey tried five or six places and they all turned him down on the spot. Ryan feels bad, invites Trey out to the pier for some food. Then suddenly Ryan sees the watch from the hip clothing store. Trey claims he went back the next day and bought it… for Ryan. But Ryan doesn’t believe him, he thinks Trey’s never going to change. Before heading out, Trey throws the receipt at Ryan.
Ryan and Marissa head out to Chino to find Trey, and not surprisingly locate him in a local bar, playing pool.
Back at the party, Carter is introducing the inspiration behind the magazine -- Julie Cooper Nichol! Julie takes the mic and tells the audience she’s about to give them a taste of Newport Living. Play the tape! But instead of a taste of Newport Living, the guests are treated to a taste of a nearly naked Julie Cooper starring in the “Porn Identity.’ It seems that Lance, posing as a waiter, infiltrated the party and switched tapes. Julie is utterly humiliated but everyone else, especially Sandy, appears to be quite amused.
Back at the bar in Chino, a local guy tries to pick up on Marissa. He refuses to take “no” for an answer, so Ryan steps in and not surprisingly a fight breaks out. Trey comes to Ryan’s rescue and the trio takes off.
Back at the party, Sandy meets Carter for the first time. Sandy tells him he throws a hell of a party. Kirsten just stands there awkwardly. Sandy heads off for a refill and Carter graciously tells Kirsten that if there was any kind of vibe between then, it was him. Let’s just leave it at that.
Meanwhile, Julie’s upstairs in the bedroom sulking when Caleb comes in and offers to take her on a nice, long trip. He tries to comfort her by reminding her that, knowing Newport, by the time they return something else will have happened to make everyone forget this. She can’t argue with that.